"Here's a dollar. I wish we could give you more."
I smirk, take the dollar, and say "take care". Behind the smirk, there is a lot more going on in my mind.
Yes, $1 is better than nothing, and yes, a buck was a good tip during the Carter administration. But don't tell me you "wish" you could give me more. Not when you made me wait 3 minutes and I got to survey all your toys. The 50" HDTV is a nice touch. The late model F-150 looks awful nice. But my favorite is your RV. Amazingly, your budget allows for these extravagances, but you "wish" you could give me more than $1. Awesome.
Here's your food. I wish I could have gotten it here sooner. Unfortunately, the good tippers got theirs in <30 and yours took almost twice that. Here's your two-liter of Mountain Dew. I wish I took it from the cooler instead of dry storage, and I wish I didn't shake it up in my car. Here's your pizza. I wish I ran the cutting blade all the way through it and put enough cheese and pepperonis on it.
If the lady wants to tip more, she should just do it. If she doesn't, she should just give me the dollar and not make things worse by saying what she says. No reason to rub salt on my wounds. If it were just one time, I might overlook it. But this has happened several times now, increasing in annoyance each time.